Moving forward

I have a lot of good ideas. I do.

I don’t say that to be conceited, I believe it to be true. So tell me, then, if I believe they are so good, why I do not go forward with most of them? Why do I not take the next step in seeing those presumed good ideas come to fruition? I’ll tell you why… I do not believe I have the ability to make others believe in them too; I am not strong enough to stand up for something I believe in so much because I am worried that others will reject my idea, or worse, me. Sometimes I wait to see if someone else will come up with the same idea and do it for me.

Anyone else do that or feel that way?

Take this blog for instance. I created it many months ago with the idea that I had something important to say that I wanted to share with whoever might read it. I believed my thoughts were important. S0 why start posting now? I got a follower. Someone found my blog and thought it worthy enough to follow. “Wow!” I thought… maybe I should get some content up there. Now that someone wants to read what I have to say, let me give them something to read. (Maybe catchy title drew them in…).

Funny thing is, though, that when I checked the user’s profile, it had been deleted. “Darn, not even a chance to woo a spammer.” Oh well…

Another good question… why do we wait until a major decision needs to be made to finally want to reveal our ideas, or make ourselves available, when, if we’d have done it 2 years ago, we might not have to be making this major decision? Or why do we feel we have to be the one in charge in order for our ideas to be used? This is happening in our church. The last pastor left 2 years ago, and our youth pastor has been filling in. Why am I just now worrying about the future of this church and my unused ideas now that we have a major decision to make?

I think you can see that these

questions are mostly rhetorical. I know the answers; you know the answers.

However, with the start of a new year, I am on a mission to do things a bit differently than I have allowed myself to in the past. Thus this first post here, thus the list of goals I have set for myself as an aspiring childrens illustrator, and an individual. Thus my efforts to become the person God wants me to be.

Anyone care to ride along?